A happily prenupped and married woman named Melissa describes a best-case scenario: She and her husband talked about their prenup even before they announced their engagement. "That was ten years ago," she says. "At the time, a friend of mine said, 'That's the most loveless thing. It's so cold.'
But we were grown-ups who had some of our own stuff outside the marriage as well as our own careers, and we really married for love. We didn't have any craziness, and we essentially agreed that what's yours is yours, what's mine is mine. I always say that, God willing, we'll never have to refer to it—and we never have."
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Prenups should be thought of as living documents, though. Women end up raising kids instead of developing a career, the struggling author becomes a best-selling screenwriter, a business grows or busts. Some things won't become clear until later in the union. What We Wish We'd Known Before Getting Married
Attorneys advise couples to revisit the agreement and update it as necessary. "As people change, the prenup should change," says Altman. At some point, she adds, after you've been happily married for 25 years, you can tear it up.
Call me a hopeless romantic, but that sounds like a worthwhile goal.
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*Names have been changed.