In "A 'Real Man's Ring'," her 2003 article in the Journal of Social History, Vicki Howard notes that "while wedding bands for men were not a completely new phenomenon in the United States around 1940, neither were they ‘tradition.'" She writes that "male wedding bands made brief appearances in the Western world at different times," but it took an earth-shattering event (World War II) plus a friendly commercial shove (a wartime campaign by the Jewelry Industry Publicity Board) to make them a ?xture.

By 1947, Fortune magazine was reporting that the percentage of "double-ring" (as opposed to single-ring) wedding ceremonies in the U.S. had increased from 15 percent at the end of the Depression to approximately 80 percent.

It's easy to see why the practice took root when it did, ?ourishing parallel to the nascent engagement-ring trend. For a man heading to Germany or the Paci?c, the band on his ?nger identified him in a way his dog tags couldn't. "Couples about to marry may have seen that tokens of love and commitment could provide some relief from the pain of separation and potential loss," Howard writes. "During wartime, a man could wear a groom's band as a symbol of what he was ?ghting to preserve."

Which, of course, brings us back to the Marine in Fallujah. If neither his ring nor the diamond engagement ring and wedding band his wife is probably wearing are "timeless" symbols, they surely are more than just valuable objects. A sociologist would call them "invented traditions," but they ?t so neatly into our desires that we can't imagine life without them.

So now it's a three-ring circus: her diamond, her band, his band. But how many hoops to jump through, where to buy them, how much to spend—and what they really mean—is up to you.

Vicki Howard doesn't wear an engagement ring, but she does wear a wedding band, and so does her husband.

"When two people wear rings, it's more about the companionate ideal," she explains. "Husband and wife are equally committed to their marriage and their future. Whereas an engagement ring worn solely by the woman is this prize, something that she's won."

Purchasing data supports the idea of the engagement ring having a different emotional signi?cance from the wedding band. A Professional Jeweler study found that fewer than a third of engagement rings were purchased as a set with a wedding band. Herman Rotenberg knows that all too well. "By the time they come to me, they've spent all their money," he laments. "I try to convince them that the wedding ring is the least expensive item, relatively."