How to Have Anal Sex For the First Time
By Ky Henderson posted
Later, in the middle of particularly intense sex, an overzealous Richard aimed himself a bit too far south. He realized his mistake and pulled away, but Lola pulled him back. They proceeded to have first-time, undiscussed anal sex without lube—and loved it.
"I've since discovered that's not a good way to do it," says Lola, 32, a lawyer. "But that night I had the most powerful orgasm of my life. It's one of the hottest things you can do, but you definitely have to be in the mood. Someone can't just spring it on you."
Outside of MTV shows and "family" comedies, most people aren't eager to talk about their butts—especially with their partners. But it doesn't need to be a face-reddening experience. "If you and your partner speak openly and directly about sex, then be open and direct about your anal desires," Taormino says. "If you're unsure about how your partner may respond, bring it up in an indirect way."
When you decide to try it out, go very slowly. Most couples agree that anal sex only works when both people are very turned on, so spend time building up to it doing whatever gets you going—oral sex, vaginal sex, watching old episodes of Hart to Hart. And remember what Mother told you: Anything you stick up a butt should be generously coated with a heavy water-based lube like Astroglide Gel or Maximus. The Frisky: 6 Things Not To Do On A First Date
That can't be stressed enough. Unlike the vagina and much like the internal combustion engine, the anus is not self-lubricating. Insufficiently lubed, you're susceptible to tiny internal tears, which can cause pain and infection, and encourage the spread of STDs. But that doesn't mean anal sex is inherently more dangerous. As long as you use a condom and there's enough lube, you'll be reasonably safe. To avoid nasty bacterial infections, remember that it's like stroking a porcupine: You can go front to back, but never back to front.
