In fact, it seems you have already made the decision that separating and keeping your goals and dreams is better than staying together and giving them up.Your real struggle is facing the pain of actually ending the relationship.It is very sad when a couple realizes that they don't share the same vision of "us." As with any loss, you need to grieve in order to move on. Take your time, and go easy on yourself. Sometimes it takes lots of breakups, especially when the desire to be together remains strong. It doesn't surprise me that you've tried four times. That doesn't mean that you are "meant to be," or that there's some cosmic force keeping you together. Quite the opposite--it means that you're on the right track, so hold steady. There's nothing wrong with making your parting a slow process. Maybe that will soothe your broken hearts.With a little time and a little perspective, I think you will be surprised at how the many good things you've gotten from this relationship will stay with you. Being in this very special relationship is an important event that forever will be a part of you both, and will shape your future in ways you may not be able to predict right now. It may take another breakup or two, but eventually, going forward individually to realize your goals and dreams will feel more right than staying together. Hang in there.-Susi Susan King is a wife and entrepreneur in Minneapolis, Minnesota. Send her your dilemmas and contact her at firstname.lastname@example.org
Advice for a woman who is madly in love with but very different from her man.