Items 1-5: As benign as these activities might seem, with any "acceptable" (A) answer for behaviors 1-3 you should be alert to the bonding nature of shared time and intimate conversations. An (A) for 4 or 5 is a little more serious, since fun and privacy further deepen the connection.
Items 6-10: Any (A) item in this group constitutes a warning. 6 and 7: There is no such thing as non-sexual physical affection when you are attracted to the other person or he/she is attracted to you. 8: Beware of the negative influence other people can have on your relationship. 9: Be sure you are not missing an important opportunity to deepen your love with your partner by using another as your confidant. 10: Private flirtatious email conversations are one of the most common paths to infidelity.
Items 11-15: You have crossed into the infidelity zone. 11: Flirting means you are available. 12: The fact that an infatuation extends over a period of time indicates you are feeding it. 13: Romantic kissing is the doorway to sexual infidelity. 14 and 15: How would you like it if your partner did either of these? Why You Should Forgive Your Cheating Ex
Items 16-20: These behaviors destroy relationships. 16: Emotional intimacy is just as serious a threat as physical intimacy. 17: It is nearly impossible to have ongoing sex with someone without forming an attachment. 18: Often used to justify infidelity, this still poses a significant threat. 19: Secrets fan the flames of passion, and are a source of looming stress for the unknowing partner. 20: Though some couples choose this arrangement, it is extremely difficult to maintain over a period of time.
©Pat Love, Ed.D. 2004