What's Your Infidelity IQ? Find Out Now
A 20-question quiz reveals if you're a cheater-in-waiting
The limbic system is talking, not the neocortex!
The Cheat Sheet:
The following items represent beliefs about the expectations and appropriate behavior related to marriage and/or a serious committed love relationship. For each statement, indicate whether you believe it is acceptable (A) or unacceptable (U) behavior. (Note: When the term “attractive” is used, it implies that you are attracted to this person and/or the person is attracted to you.)
A U 1. Having attractive friends outside the marriage/relationship.
A U 2. Socializing frequently without your partner.
A U 3. Frequently sharing the most important part of your day with another person.
A U 4. Sharing a hobby or pastime with an attractive person.
A U 5. Spending private time with an attractive friend or colleague.
A U 6. Showing non-sexual physical affection to an attractive friend.
A U 7. Greeting an attractive friend with a kiss.
A U 8. Spending time with people who do not like your partner.
A U 9. Talking about your private relationship issues with others.
A U 10. Having private email relationships of a flirtatious nature.
A U 11. Flirting with other people.
A U 12. Being secretly infatuated with someone over a period of time.
A U 13. Kissing another person romantically with no sexual contact.
A U 14. Sexual contact with another person that does not include genital sex.
A U 15. Sexual contact with another person that does not include intercourse.
A U 16. Professing love/infatuation to another without physical sexual contact.
A U 17. Having sexual intercourse with another person without emotional involvement.
A U 18. Being involved emotionally and physically with another person as a way of improving your marriage/relationship.
A U 19. Being involved with another person while keeping it a secret.
A U 20. Both of you having partners outside of your marriage/relationship.
SCORING KEY
Items 1-5 As benign as these activities might seem, with any “acceptable” (A) answer for behaviors 1-3 you should be alert to the bonding nature of shared time and intimate conversations. An (A) for 4 or 5 is a little more serious, since fun and privacy further deepen the connection.
Item 6-10 Any (A) item in this group constitutes a warning. 6 and 7: There is no such thing as non-sexual physical affection when you are attracted to the other person or he/she is attracted to you. 8: Beware of the negative influence other people can have on your relationship. 9: Be sure you are not missing an important opportunity to deepen your love with your partner by using another as your confidant.
Discussion
Actually there are a lot of people who like and participate in threesomes and more regularly and are in serious comitted relationships. It doesn't make you an idiot it makes you an adventurous person who has a partner (or partners) who enjoy this type of stimulation.
Personally I would prefer my husband to choose an attractive woman for a threesome with us...and I have a VERY attractive lover who is a longterm polyfidelitous lover whom we enjoy many varied encounters with. All of us are attractive people and we prefer to actually BE attracted to our sexual partners.
It is right to say that taking time away from your partner or partners with someone else can drain the relationships but it can be worked out as long as you are honest with everyone involved. You have to be disciplined enough to think your way through new relationship energy and continue to nurture and grow your other relationships. It's not too far different than spending time with relatives, friends and with your kids it takes time management, serious self discipline, and boundaries.
You are an idiot Rio. Having sex with someone else is not being loyal to your partner! As much as most men fantasize about threesomes, if in a serious relationship it is better left to fantasy. Why would your ex pick an attractive women to have a threesome with you?? Use your brain genuis. The article is right, if you are attracted to someone, you should keep away from him/her. And spending intimate moments, even if they are only conversations, is getting involved with someone emotionally and drains your actual relationship. It just is not fair. If you are uncertain about your relationship, don't drag the other person around. Do them a favor and let them know how you feel.
None of this means anything. It is the total loyality that counts. That also means being able to allow the other attractive to very attractive friends. One ex I had did the opposite she did want the excitement of threesomes but she chose unattractive women. I came to resent this as a slight on me and what she thought
