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When's the Best Time to Start a Family?

Figuring out when to have kids. Inside are the biological myths and realities about conception.

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Reality: Fertility begins to decline gradually in a woman’s late 20s and goes into a free-fall around age 40. By age 42, a woman has less than a ten percent chance of getting pregnant without donor eggs, and many fertility clinics discourage women over 43 from attempting to get pregnant with their own eggs.

When the American Fertility Association surveyed more than 12,000 women in 2001, many incorrectly assumed that the waning of female fertility begins in the late 30s. They were way off.

"A woman's fecundability—her chance of becoming pregnant in a single month—falls from at least 20 percent in her 20s, to between 10 and 15 percent in her mid-30s, to 10 percent at best at age 40, to a mere 2 or 3 percent by age 45," estimates Dr. Copperman.

With an average age of 38, many of the patients at his practice "are going to have egg-quality issues," he says, which lead not only to problems getting pregnant, but also to increased miscarriage rates and potential genetic abnormalities. Dr. Copperman advises that any woman over 35 should go in for an evaluation "sooner rather than later. Certainly after six months of timed trying, it’s time to investigate."

II Misconception: "The best way to conceive is not to have sex for a week and then give it one good shot when the woman's temperature goes up."

Reality: Having sex early and often—about every other day from about four days before a woman thinks she's going to ovulate until a day or so after—makes conception most likely. If you wait for a week, Dr. Copperman explains, "First of all, you're going to have a whole bunch of old sperm there, rather than fresh sperm if the man had ejaculated a day or two before. Secondly, part of the time, you're going to miss ovulation. Ideally, you really want the sperm there before the egg is released."

Sperm can survive for several days, while the egg loses viability quite rapidly, some estimate within 24 hours. While day 14 is the standard, the time of ovulation varies from woman to woman and sometimes from cycle to cycle. Charting temperature, noting cervical mucus changes, or using ovulation-predictor kits will help a woman become more familiar with her cycle and determine the best time to conceive.

III Misconception: "Just relax and you'll get pregnant."

Reality: There is no convincing scientific evidence to show that stress leads to infertility. Anyone struggling to conceive has probably been advised to "just relax," by well-meaning friends and family. However, this suggestion has no basis in science and can be hurtful, as it implies that the woman’s actions or frame of mind are causing her infertility—that it's her fault.

"There really is no difference in fertility if the woman is extremely anxious, if she's a trader on the stock exchange, or if she's meditating in Tibet," says Dr. Copperman. There is the same chance of an egg and sperm getting together, the same chance of a pregnancy ensuing, the same chance of a miscarriage.

IV Misconception: "Birth-control pills decrease fertility."

Can you relate?

Discussion

Posted January 25, 2008

i think there's going to be a backlash to older moms and women will start having kids earlier--def by their mid-20s soon. Hollywood's already doing it--which is a bad example, becasue other young women will think it's easy.

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