Proponents of raising awareness encourage ob-gyns to bring up the subject of fertility with women before their window of opportunity slides shut. While some doctors won't "invade their patients' privacy" on this issue, offering advice only if asked, others, like Manhattan ob-gyn Dr. Lynn Friedman, do open the discussion, because of trends she sees in her practice. At least half of Friedman's over-40 patients wishing to conceive end up seeing a fertility specialist, and she has found that those over 42 are usually not successful using their own eggs—a reality that catches many off guard.

"They'll point out the one person they know who is in her forties and pregnant, and they'll hang their hats on that one person," says Friedman. "They'll hear that a celebrity is having twins at age 52 and they don't think about the possibility that she's used donor eggs. Of course women have a right to their privacy, and generally they won't publicize it if they use donor eggs, but it ends up being misleading to other women. I had a 45-year-old come in saying she wanted to try to get pregnant and when I explained to her that she should see a fertility specialist and look into donor eggs because she had a very small chance of getting pregnant, she was livid. She got up and stormed out. She did end up needing donor eggs. I don't know if she was successful or not."

Friedman broaches the subject with married and single patients alike. "When a woman reaches her mid- to late thirties, I bring up fertility issues with her and let her know about the possibility of freezing embryos if she isn't quite ready, or using donor sperm to be a single parent," she says.

Of course, every movement has its backlash. Groups such as the National Organization for Women fear that fertility—awareness advocates are pressuring women into having babies before they are ready. Dr. Alan Copperman, director of the Division of Reproductive Endocrinology at the Mount Sinai Medical Center of New York and part of the top-notch team at Reproductive Medicine Associates, summarizes the debate: "It's become an issue as to how much we should educate the public versus alarm the public as to the decline in female fertility. Apparently some of the women’s groups feel that educating young women in secondary school health education that their fertility may be falling off in their thirties may dissuade them from pursuing a career, because they are being told there's a choice they can make: Be a mom, or be a business success. Other groups are suggesting that it is our responsibility, if not obligation, as health-care providers, to educate and say that there really is a decline in fertility. It doesn't mean that a 35- or 40-year-old can't get pregnant; it does mean they should be informed up front what their options are going to be and what the potential ramifications of their decisions will be."

The bottom line? Dr. Margaret Garrisi, medical director of assisted reproduction at St. Barnabas Medical Center's esteemed Institute for Reproductive Medicine and Science, encourages people to be proactive: "Come up with a plan for having children, just as you would plan for your education or your career."