hink of massage as a thoughtful exploration of your lover's body, rather than a task that must be completed in order to get your turn. Generosity beats strength and skill: Repeating simple strokes and massaging for at least an hour will give more pleasure than attempting complicated movements.

"Most people don't see massage on the menu of life. We tend to rush our pleasures," adds Inkeles. "What could be more precious than having someone who is generous enough to focus on the needs of all your body parts?"

RULES OF THE RUB

Do:

-Turn off phones; remove distractions; play soft music.
-Make the environment warm (at least 70 degrees F). Light healthy soy candles such as Ergo (www.ergocandle.com) or Suntouched (www.eathlybody.com), which melt into moisturizing massage oil.
-Oil everything except the scalp. Try Jurlique's Romance Blend (www.jurlique.com), a heady mix of orange, patchouli, and ylang ylang, or D.I.Y.: safflower oil with a few drops of lemon juice.
-Have towels handy.
-Repeat the same strokes over and over.
-Quietly disappear when the massage is over.

Do not:

-Massage on a bed—create a soft surface on the floor.
-Talk, or massage while your partner is reading or watching TV.
-Probe or poke the body.
-Break body contact.
-Apply pressure to the spine or back below the ribs, when the kidneys are unprotected.
-Change the rhythm or pace of your strokes.
-Wear a watch or jewelry.
-Say "My turn!" after you have finished.