I Was A Lonely Newlywed...
A young wife learns that marrying a workaholic is hard work.
I called a girlfriend and booked the next ticket to Ibiza.
I danced until dawn, woke at noon, and headed to the beach at 4 pm with a stack of books, my reading interrupted only by lunch, Spanish-style, an hour later. It was heaven. I missed my husband.
And I remember exactly where I was standing when I told him—tired of recounting the events of my day to him in my head—to come back to me.
It’s been seven years, and I’ll say this: I’ll always be frightened by the gravitas of love. I’ll always be edging one toe out the door. And I’ll count on the man I married to gently pull me back. Because when I forget why we’re sure the earth is round, he draws a map to remind me. Because any friend of my mine is a friend of his, but he also knows when to go to bed so I can be alone with that friend. What Not To Say When A Friend Gets Divorced
Because he makes me laugh, but I make him laugh harder. And yes, there will always be someone else who needs him, stat. Lucky them. And then he comes always comes home. Lucky me.
Discussion
Its not being selfish at all. She put up with the lonely day and nights, and she finally reached her breaking point. Every reaches that point where they just can't do it anymore, whether it be a job, relationship, etc. Kudos to her for taking a step back and realizing what she needed to do for herself, to be happy. Every relationship has to be tested, and that was their test. Fortunately(because I believe in the union of marriage being everlasting), she was able to realize that she missed her husband and wanted to be married, regardless of the circumstances.
Ideally, you should have a second romantic/sexual partner. In a polyamorous relationship, multiple lovers help compensate for each other's flaws and shortcomings.
I know it's hard to feel alone, but I believe that the point of marriage is to better enrich eachothers lives, and support eachother's ambitions and goals...which may in turn lead to some lonely nights while they are attaining them. I am married to an active duty Marine, so I completely understand what it feels like to literally be alone in a random state for months on end without seeing my husband, and sometimes without speaking to him due to his job. We have been together for 10 years, and married for over five. If you believe in "until death do us part", then you will have plenty more wonderful years ahead of you, and just have to deal with the grueling first few that you may endure. It will make you a stronger unit, and in turn they will feel appreciated, respected, and they will most likely be supportive for you if you are ever going through a time where you can't give them 110% of your focus and affection.
Why do people assume that when you get married everything is going to change? You should go into a marriage with the same expectations you had while you were dating. And if you had a problem with him while you were dating, you are still going to have that same problem once you're married. I don't understand people with such high expectations after you say I do. Nothing changes but your last name and title. But this time when you want to breakup/divorce it's going to cost both of you a hell of a lot of money.
To the above comment,
Didn't you read it? She stuck it out and they've been married for 7 years. Lucky her...
I was married for two very long, very lonely years. I called myself a MINO (to sound like widow), which meant Married In Name Only. Abandonment is a reason for an anulment. Since divorced, I had more sex in one month than in the two miserable years I was married. MINO no mo!
Kudos for you for making a stand albeit a little late. You have to set ground rules early. You did (later) and he came back. I think your story also re-confirms that people shouldn't get married until they're 30, IMHO.
Im sorry but that just seems a little selfish that you wanted a seperation because you werent getting enough attention. If you truly loved him then you would have stuck it out..you should have known that he wouldnt be around much if he was going to become a doctor.
