By then, however, even I knew better—at least in my saner moments. Like other men with whom I'd been involved, Jeremy was smart, talented, and interesting. But unlike some of his predecessors, he was also honest, trustworthy, and dependable. When I watched him play with other people's children, I knew what a wonderful father he would be. He was calm and steady in a crisis, and I sensed that I would be able to count on him as a husband, no matter what challenges arose. He had a mature understanding of what commitment meant, and he wanted it.
His kindness to me reflected the way he interacted with the rest of the world. He's the sort of guy who helps little old ladies cross the street and graciously motions other drivers to cut in front of him. Maybe he doesn't arrive at every dinner party determined to dazzle all the guests; he tends to speak up only if he actually has something to say. When he does, his views are intelligent and humane, often containing unexpected insights. When he feels comfortable with people, he's absolutely hilarious; his sense of humor is as wicked as it is sly. Jeremy's unpredictable flashes of wit still astonish me with their inventiveness, even after 20 years of knowing him. And despite the difference in our backgrounds, our values have proved compatible on almost everything, including parenting.
More from YourTango: Exclusive! How Online Dating Helped One Man Convict A Killer
Jeremy and I celebrated our eighteenth wedding anniversary last summer; our children are now 17 and 14. We share an apartment, a dog, a large mortgage, and a life so intricately intertwined that I long ago ceased to be able to imagine a separate existence. My heart still leaps every time I hear his voice on the phone.
More from YourTango: How I Lost Myself To The Idea Of Love: A Cautionary Tale
When I talk to younger friends, they often tell me about men they've rejected after one date. "He's not my type," they insist. "There was no chemistry." If I urge them to keep an open mind, they snort derisively and assure me that they know what they're talking about.