The most heated arguments we’ve heard between partners with a body-temp differential are caused by down duvets, which have taken bedrooms by storm. Unfortunately, no matter how “summer weight” a duvet claims to be, it always seems to make someone sweat. And try throwing off a duvet when you feel a little steamy. It becomes a fabric-andfeathers snowbank threatening to avalanche.

So we’re fans of the sheet-and-blanket combo. The enormous variety of fabrics and weights lets you fine-tune your comfort level: cotton for summer, wool for warmth and pleasing heft in winter. The point is to layer independently: cover the entire bed with a lightweight cotton blanket, then on your side, add a cashmere throw. (Electric blankets are a retro, but remarkably effective alternative. Equipped with dual remotes—no wires—you each control the temp on your half of the bed.)

Mattress matters
But even the finest bedding can’t make up for a bed with bad ergonomics. Unfortunately, buying a mattress (you need a new one about every ten years) can be as confusing as selecting a cellular plan.

What you’re looking for is a mattress that conforms to your spine’s natural curves. It should be neither so firm that your body touches down only at three or four points, nor so soft that you sink into it like marshmallow cream.

That can be tough to determine in a quick test-drive at the mattress shop. One hint: you can change positions up to 40 times while you sleep, so shift, turn, and try out multiple arrangements of limbs. Still, the best way to avoid mattress remorse is to sleep on the one you’re considering—preferably for several nights in a row. That may explain the growing popularity of hotel mattress-purchase programs, which have cropped up in hotels from the Ritz-Carlton to La Quinta. You slept soundly every night of a weeklong trip? Bring the bliss home by buying the identical mattress. If that’s impractical, you should find a dealer with an exchange policy that gives you a week or more with a mattress before you commit (many do).

An easier question to answer than “how firm?” is “how big?” If you’re often joined in bed by kids, dogs, and his-and-her laptops, when a king-size bed (76 inches wide) might be right for you. But we’re fans of the 60-inchwide queen, because it better fosters a couple connection. Yes, each of you sacrifices eight inches of elbow room, but that means you’re always within snuggling distance. Remember, we’re talking a third of your lives. You shouldn’t be at each other’s throats. You should be in each other’s arms.