He Wants Kids, You Don't. Now What?

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Advice: I want a family. She doesn't. Do I end the marriage?

It is possible that exploring these avenues could meet your fathering needs well enough without actually becoming a father.

If you do choose to stay in the marriage, you must accept your wife’s decision—and this acceptance must be absolute (this may require some outside help). Choosing this option means dropping the subject, bearing no resentment, and placing no blame.

However, if you know this will never be enough for you, or if you cannot give up the urge to change your wife’s mind, staying in your marriage will probably lead to resentment and dissatisfaction for you both. The fact that you have doubts about your future says that you have some serious soul-searching to do. In your letter, you ponder if you will be happy forfeiting your chance to be a father by staying in your marriage. Here’s another way to look at it: You would be forfeiting a known good thing for an unknown chance at parenthood.

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