On Halloween three years ago, Kim Jong Il proposed to me. It wasn’t the North Korean dictator who tested nuclear weapons, mind you, but a nice Jewish boy in costume. Actually, he proposed to Mary Katherine Gallagher, the armpit-sniffing Catholic schoolgirl from "Saturday Night Live." Mary Katherine gave a resounding, “Yes!” to the question of marriage to Kim Jong Il, and today we live happily ever after in New Orleans. There is a lid for every pot and, thankfully, my lid loves to dress up in costume as much as I do. Here in New Orleans, we dress up for birthdays, concerts, Halloween and, of course, Mardi Gras. Look in our car trunks and you will find—at the very least—a wig and a cape. And as with anything creative, good DIY Halloween costumes are all in the execution. The trends here have spoken—and this year, the hottest couple costumes come straight from Hollywood.The “new school” of Hollywood is tacky and shameless. Try these costumes at your own risk—you may spot a snap of yourselves in a gossip rag post-Halloween.
- Miley Cyrus and Her Tongue: Choose from either of the controversial singer's VMA outfits: nude bralette and panties or a bizarre bear onesie plus a chunky gold chain. Honestly, you can wear anything she's been seen in as long as your tongue is constantly out. If you're a pair, someone can actually dress in all Pink and be the tongue. Link arms and walk together, you're best friends after all.
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- Amy Poehler and Tina Fey: Be a brunette and blonde. Crack jokes literally the entire time you're in costume. You're good. If this isn't enough for you, try being one of these comedy revolutionizing ladies' alter egos: Leslie Knope or Liz Lemon. Or choose their Mean Girls roles for an old school throwback that's sure to have everyone laughing.
- Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt, and the kids: Adopting all of the creatures from the “It’s a Small World” ride at Disneyland? Then you must be Brangelina! All this costume requires are Cabbage Patch dolls in a rainbow of colors. Strap the dolls onto your bodies and hit the road.
- Kanye West, Kim Kardashian, and baby North West: To steal Kimye and their spawn's look, basically just look glamorous and over the top. For Kim, a tight fitting dress that shows off your curves works best (if you're not blessed with a booty like Kim's, and few are, don a foam butt for the full effect). Strap on some heels, a long wig and some false eyelashes. Make a ridiculous crying face every hour or so. Kanye should wear a DIY version of one of his notoriously pricey tees, leather pants and a blazer. Play your own music all night. One of you should be holding a baby doll with a compass taped to it, ya get it?
- Rihanna and her throne in the "Pour It Up" video: Bad gal RiRi puts Miley to shame in her latest video. A short pin-curled blonde wig, bedazzled bra and bright red lips make this look. And the effortless swag, of course. Have someone dress as her ornate, gold throne and twerk upon them. It'll be their honor.
- Farrah Abraham and James Deen: Ah, yes. The supposed sex tape with a porn star that just happened to leak. Nice try, Farrah. If you're trying to be the teen mom, wear something that makes you look as irresponsible as you are. For the favorite adult actor of ladies worldwide, wear a suit and look pretty. Either spend the night having sex or hating on each other. Both happened.
- George Clooney and Insert GirlFriend Here: The Gravity star and longtime heartthrob is famous for having a new woman on his arm every two seconds. At the age of 52, we wonder if this guy will ever settle down. One of you should dress in a suit, looking handsome as hell. The other should look glamorous and gorgeous with "Hello, my name is..." stickers all over them. Each sticker should have the name of a different past girlfriend.
Old Hollywood is sweeter, sappier and much more refined. Air kisses and curtsies are required if you opt to dress as one of these fictional couples.
- Gilligan and Ginger (or Mary Ann): Had satellites existed in the time of the three-hour tour, surely Gilligan’s red shirt and white cap would have been seen from as far as Mars. Depending on your mood (sexy or sweet), you can do either Ginger or Mary Ann. For Ginger, put your hair in rollers, bust out the red lipstick and score a ‘60s gown from eBay. Hold Gilligan close to your bosom as much as possible. Mary Ann needs only two low ponytails, a tummy- baring gingham top and some cut-offs. A replica of the Minnow stowed under the arm is optional.
- Rhett Butler and Scarlett O’Hara: While you probably can’t make an evening gown out of your velvet curtains like Scarlett O’Hara did, you can wear a stunning green gown with a matching green feather in your hair. Put him in a white three-piece suit, a black tie, and a white hat—and if he’s really into character (and you trust him enough), get him to carry you down the stairs!
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- Lucy and Ricky Ricardo: “Luceeee! I’m home!” The beloved television duo will surely bring smiles to your Halloween festivities. A bright red wig with a ‘50s cocktail dress are all you need to play the red-haired comedienne. And cigar + smoking jacket + Cuban accent = Ricky.
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