The Other Woman: Advice From A Mistress
By Michael Drury. Posted on .
It is critical to understand that intelligence and love do not blockade one another. I have known men and women, both married and not, who all their lifetime have borne the grief of not knowing real love, and yet they keep the word abstract. They expect love to be a mystical magical something unrelated to whatever other powers they may have. They carry in their heads a line from bad novels: "If you have to think about it, it isn't love." Nonsense. Watch: Seeking Your Soulmate? Use The Secret
That is like saying if you have to study, it is not talent.
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Intelligence is necessary for oneself first, and after that for love to come alive in. Any man who is drawn solely to surfaces and youthful charm is eventually not going to be enough of a man for the woman you shall have become, if you grow at all. It is just that simple. Love is vastly more than sex and family life, a social unit, an economic cog, no matter how superbly marriage fills these niches.
We love most those who make us fulfill whatever greatness lies in us, not those who induce us to resign it. Remember how it was at first, how you went around pouring out; and refill your reservoir from the same springs as before you met, for that is what brought love to your door.
A mistress perceives that love is not calibrated in length of days but in height and depth. A love affair is constantly subject to two threats: a foreseeable end and a fragmentary present,which ought to destroy it but they don't. A love affair does not ask security against the world's fate; it shares that fate and knows it only too poignantly, which gives it great vitality for its season. Read: Why We Need Adultery
Marriage is often an attempt to bring life as nearly to a standstill as possible, guaranteeing what no one can: to go on feeling a certain way.
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Swearing to love forever is like promising to feel perpetually any other emotion, fear or sorrow, admiration or joy. What one can swear is to go on being worth loving, a vow that is more flexible, more attainable, and more true.
