Portrait Of An Open Marriage

It was amazing to watch them together. It was hot, but it was also very sweet. She was so lost in him and he in her. I was able to see him as a human being, if you know what I mean. Not as my husband or my daughter's father, but as a man, a sexual being, a person who wants to be wanted, who needs to be wanted.

And I know that watching her and me together was an incredible experience for him as well. She even taught him how to give me a G-spot orgasm, a feat that he had never managed. It sounds so deviant, I know. But it was charming, really. He held her long hair in his hands and watched her. He also stole looks at me. "I love you," he mouthed. "I love you, too," I somehow managed. And when I came, I couldn't help but notice the glances the two of them exchanged. "Not bad," his seemed to say. "See, I could teach you a thing or two," hers seemed to imply. It was weird. But it was also, well, normal. Threesomes: A User's Guide

My husband and I had a six-month affair with my close friend. The three of us had sex. He and she had sex. She and I had sex. And, of course, he and I continued to have sex, just the two of us. The arrangement eventually faded out, and we all slipped back into our previous relationships. But my marriage was forever changed. Our experience with her was the catalyst that led us to explore open marriage.

It's been interesting and hard and wonderful and confusing. It has led to some terribly sad moments and some incredibly joyful ones. The sad ones always stem from some combination of ego, insecurity, and lack of communication. The wonderful ones result from love and trust and understanding. But really, it's blindingly simple. We give each other what we need, including freedom and space. We respect one another. And we are self-aware enough to know that we're interested in, and capable of, exploring sex, whatever that means for us and despite what it may mean for anyone else. (That is, of course, anyone not sexually involved with us.) It has brought my husband and me closer than I ever imagined possible.