They agreed to discuss where else they could live if Susie was still unhappy after one year. "I think he hopes I'll fall in love with it here, but I hope someday we'll move back," she admits. "It's definitely the biggest point of contention between us and often it goes unspoken."

Those hopes and feelings need to be voiced, says relationship expert Harville Hendrix, PhD. "In a year, they're both going to build up a lot of thoughts that won't relate to their partner's reality. It's OK to wait a year to make a decision but, still, check in with each other weekly or monthly, even for ten minutes, to listen without judging or critiquing, and to validate each other's feelings."

Couples need to look at the big picture, too. Susie realizes that Breck is now her family, and her future. She also knows there are pluses to having moved to a town where neither of them knew anyone. "We go out as a couple more and find friends together," she says. "My friends and family in Colorado still love me and will always be there. If we don't end up there, I’m not making out too bad with a wonderful, loving husband who is opening my eyes to the world."

Indeed, many couples have found that a move brought them closer in some ways, as they explored uncharted territory together. "Novelty can be an energizer," notes Love. "It's one of the components of passion."

Sometimes a traumatic move has an unexpectedly happy ending. Peter Hess* left a job he loved in London to be with his fiancée, Sonya*, a fashion model living in New York City. But a year later the newlyweds faced another dilemma: Peter's company wanted to move him back to London, and they wanted him there in one month's time. “When he told me, I basically started crying and screaming and completely freaked out,” recalls Sonya. Though she and her husband are both from Europe, "New York was the first place that felt like home for me," she says. "All my friends were there I had just bought a horse; and I knew I wouldn't be able to work half as much in London."

The two had numerous discussions and arguments about it. "Two weeks passed before I realized there was no way out of it," she says. "He had been in his position in New York for a year and he wasn't happy. It would have been way too selfish of me to tell him to stay in a job he didn't like, especially when he had given up the job in London for me." She did have a couple of demands, though: the company had to move her horse, and if she was still miserable a year after the move, the couple would have to come up with a solution.

Sonya was unhappy for the first six months, as are many spouses who move for their partner's job. "The person moving due to a new opportunity isn't going to feel the same stress," Love warns. "He'll have a built-in support group at work and the elation of a new job; she'll be hunting for the grocery store, the cleaners, maybe a job. This dichotomy at first can create stress. It calls for massive doses of reassurance, understanding, and appreciation."