Which celebrities are good flirts?
Cameron Diaz, Brittany Murphy, Debra Messing.
What about guys?
Why do you think flirters have a bad reputation?
Because we live in a culture that has a love/hate relationship with anything that's sexual. We love it, we love it, we love it. We condemn it, condemn it, condemn it.
What makes a bad flirt?
A bad flirt is somebody who really puts out a heavy sexual message and then doesn't deliver. You shouldn't promise more than you can deliver. First, do no harm.
So, do you believe in playing hard to get?
I think it can help. It is true, all of those things your mother said to you: "Don't wear your heart on your sleeve." I am also a big believer in: "Chase him until he catches you." My mother said that to me. Her idea was: Set your sights on some guy and chase him, but somehow make it seem to him like he's doing the pursuing.
That is a very Southern idea!
Oh, Southerners can flirt circles around the girls in the Northeast. I think girls in the Northeast are actually handicapped. They are like the anti-flirt, like Ali McGraw's character in Love Story. But that's a kind of flirting.
Who taught you to flirt?
When I was still little and my mother was washing my hair she'd sing, "Diamonds are a girl's best friend." She was very flirty. My mother was married four times.
Wow, so you inherited it.
She always married rich, older guys. They would get sick and die and she would just find another one. She was a major flirt.
Do you think that anyone can learn how to flirt?
Yes, if they want to. It's one of those things people say they want to do. People say they want to quit smoking; they say they want to lose weight; they say they want to learn to flirt. You gotta apply yourself. Some people are definitely more genetically gifted than others.
My sense is that a lot about flirting is intuitive. It's just believing that you are a catch; you are the one who's going walk away; you're the one in control.
It really comes down to a confidence issue. So much of your day-to-day life really works to erode your confidence and that's another reason you need to flirt, to build up your own confidence.