The Humor In Following Sex Advice To A T

From: sadielicious@yahoo.com
Subject: unappreciated beauty
Date: July 15, 2005 1:40:15 PM EDT
To: letters@americanvixenmag.com

Dear American Vixen,

More from YourTango: How I Ditched My Commitment Issues ... By Snooping

Thank you for your enlightening article, "Loving Your Bod While It's Gettin' Some Lovin'." Like many of the women profiled in your article, I have recently begun to suspect that my negative body image is impacting my sex life. I often find myself distracted from the heights of sexual ecstasy by the vigorous wobbling of my thighs, for instance. I took your confidence-boosting pointers to heart (I'm one of your biggest fans!), but I’m a little unsure about the outcome.

On Friday, my man was caressing my torso and began to unbutton my jeans. I turned the lights to full blast so he could feast his eyes on my womanly bounty. "Touch me where the love handles spill out over my waistband," I said in a breathy whisper. While astride him, I called his attention to the fetching way my breasts bounced up and down, sometimes colliding like two heavenly orbs. On Tuesday, I asked him to smooth lotion on my calluses while singing "I'm F*ckin' You Tonite," by Notorious B.I.G. and R. Kelly.

For the past few nights, he's taken to showering immediately after dinner and falling asleep around 8:30. He says he's overworked and stressed out, but I'm beginning to wonder if my newfound confidence is putting him off. On Sunday, I plan to conquer my issues surrounding my stretch marks and the flabby undersides of my arms. If he doesn't respond, is it time to kick him to the curb?

Thanks!

Sensual Sadie

More from YourTango: Having So-So Sex? 6 Ways To Make It Mind-Blowing

From: cgwild@hot-mail.com
Subject: Extreme Summer Pain
Date: August 17, 2005 3:57:45 PM EDT
To: letters@americanvixenmag.com

Dear American Vixen,