A Girl's Guide to Anal Sex
Get the goods on joining the backdoor betty club.
Have you heard any stories?
Oh all kinds of things: Light bulbs, various food items…
A light bulb?
Yeah. We couldn't figure out how it got in there, but all kinds of things… I guess whatever's handy at the time.
Maybe they were trying to act out a "how many light bulbs" joke. You said it's important for a girl to relax her sphincter muscles. How?
I use Kegels.
Is that like leggo my Kegel? How does that work?
She should squeeze the muscles when she breathes in and relax them when she breathes out. He should slowly push the penis in as she relaxes. You're working together.
So what you're saying is anal sex takes teamwork.
He shouldn't just push his way in. Men have to realize that if they make it painful, they're never getting in there again.
How does a guy get a girl to let him in the back door when "open sesame" doesn't work?
Well, the thing I can say to her as a doctor is, it's not unsafe. She's not going to be wearing a diaper, she's not going to have fecal incontinence, she's not going to be soiling herself or passing gas all day. From her boyfriend, she wants to know that he's not going to just get in there and go crazy. Men do sometimes—they lose their minds.
I'm guessing you're not talking certifiable.
Guys have these fantasies, and once they're in the midst of fulfilling them, they can lose control. A woman wants to know that he's going to work with her, and that if she has pain, he's going to stop.
You recommend easing your way in over a period of six days. Is there a Cliff Notes version?
You don't start out with the penis. Work your way up, stimulating the outside with a finger or tongue and then slowly use your finger to enter the anus. And then once she get used to that, you can go on to bigger and better things.
Discussion
I think men like the idea of anal sex, but when in the moment they worry too much that they are hurting their lover.
http://www.AndThatsWhyYoureSingle.com
TWITTER - http://twitter.com/Moxieinthecity
@Carrissima - I feel strongly that it is up to each individual woman to determine what she wants, and feels comfortable with, sexually. Who are you to tell women that anal sex is "unnatural" or "degrading," and in doing so, pass judgment on anyone who enjoys it? (btw, anal sex is nothing new - people have been doing it for hundreds of years; look it up.)
Think about it: If the guy doesn't folllow all these instructions then he can"mess" the girl up. Everyone needs to type in the term "Gay bowel syndrome" on the internet. No offense to gays but ,that is the name given because it was occurring most frequently in the gay community. Gee I wonder why?
Pushing your penis up her ass is unnatural and there is always the risk of fecal matter entering the digestive system and messing her up for life. Even "rimming" is dangerous despite what you see in pornos!
So ladies realize that just like "c*m shots" in porn, anal sex, is mainly a guys fantasy . Don't degrade yourself . You have already degraded yourself enough trying to please men and they don't respect us anymore.What women do you know of in real life who likes c*m spilled on her face afterwards? PLEEESE.
@Carrissima
Ha ha oh wow. For starters Gay Bowel Syndrome is an outdated medical term from the dark ages used to describe a variety of things such as STDs and G.I. problems. Not only is it ancient but it falls under the same category as Joseph McCarthy's "red scare", aka bullshit used to scare people in the 50's. Citing rectal prolapse would have been far more relevant and not portrayed you as someone from the midwest who gets their information from church pamphlets.
Second - "Fecal matter entering the digestive system", because the intestinal tract isn't part of the digestive system. Grab a human physiology book and learn a little bit about the intestinal tract, because you have to be an idiot to believe a 6 inch penis will force refuse completely up the 20+ feet of both intestinal tracts. Not to mention the natural contractions of it forcing matter towards the anus. Aren't you a special one.
Third - "is unnatural". Someones got some sexual issues. Explain how it's any more unnatural then fellatio. Enjoy your missionary position sex life.
Forth - "already degraded yourself enough" Oh god, someones got a lot of sexual issues. Please explain to me how it's degrading between two consenting adults. Perhaps, and this is just a wild guess here pumpkin, they don't respect you because you're an idiot.
Fifth - It's spelled please, not please.
Are you a preteen from the Midwest, seriously?
I've tried anal sex with my girlfriend two times and both times she had an orgasm and seemed like she liked it until after she noticed there was blood both times and doesn't want to do it anymore. Is there a reason there was blood we went very slow and i'm above average but not that big.
The penis is only so long! Contrary to what men believe, the average penis is five inches or less, erect.
That's about one-hundred percent wrong.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Penis_frequency.svg
The average penis length is between six and six and a quarter inches.
I don't know if this is a person we should be taking vague, generalist advice from. As she either doesn't know how long an inch is, or has never seen a penis in real life.
i have done anal with my fiance and it doesnt hurt at all. at first i did hurt and i didn't like it. but now its like the best feeling, and i get orgasms just doing it. it is kinda hard to like position yourself when standing but it is a really good feeling.
I had never tried anal sex with my ex (nor wanted to) but my current wife encouraged me and I will admit it is very different and she DOES have great orgasms when we anal (me too). Its not something we do all the time, usually she needs a few drinks to loosen up so we plan it. Trust is a huge part of the act. She has to know that if she says ouch or stop that you will. Go slow at first, lots and lots of lube, as things progress see how agressive you both want to proceed. It IS a new and wonderful experience.
To PM2, if its not something either of you really want or enjoy then I suggest you relax and if you decide to later then go for it. Its something special for us and we enjoy it more because of that reason.
My ex was abusive and forced anal on me. It was never meant to be something for us to share pleasure from. Anyway he's history.
I started dating my current boyfriend 8 years ago. after I decided he was the right guy. Kind, caring. I offered him anal sex. He replied he never tried it before. well we attempted it but he couldn't manuever his way in. We never tried it again. Should I offer again or just let it go?
While I've never had any sort of sex before, I say you should try it again. Like the doc said, give it some time. You all may not get there the second or even the third time you all try, but when you do get there it may be well worth it - and if it's not, then at least you all know for sure rather than wondering what your possibly missing out on. As long as both of you are comfortable with it and are on the same page, try giving it another shot.
Alternative - For those who might have a boyfriend that wants it but you just really don't want to go there, I have a suggestion. Try lying on your stomach with your butt slightly elevated. Now, keeping your legs together with his on the outside, have your partner enter you vaginally from behind (some extra lube and a little guidance from your hand to make sure he is on target may help). You won't get a lot of penitration this way but personally, I find this very stimulating and it's very easy to fantisize that we are having anal without forcing her to do something that she isn't ready to try. A little verbal role playing will go a long way here but make sure he knows in advance that it is only role playing and not an invitation so his excitement doesn't get the best of him. ;-)
